Hard Times

Overheard from a conversation between 3 older teenage guys hanging around outside a strip mall----

Teen 1: "So, is college really that bad?"

Teen 2 (exasperated): "You already asked that. YES. It really sucks."

Teen 3 begins whistling an indistinguishable tune.

Crib Shopping

At a bar, while watching the Packers game, one of my Packers buddies explains his plans for next weekend.

"Yeah, since the Packers play on Monday night next week, my wife and I are going crib shopping next Sunday. You know, crib shopping, not shopping for a house, but crib shopping."

This explanation is accompanied by hand gestures that seem to be indicating a rectangular sort of shape. I'm assuming it was meant to be a crib.

It's Not Funny Anymore

Yeah, ummmm...I got TWO more tickets for toll evasion in the mail yesterday. I kid you not---TWO!!!! I'm going crazy. One for the stupid Dumbarton and one for the Bay Bridge. I have never driven my car over the Bay Bridge. I've been over the Dumbarton once, and that was in May or something. I always pay my tolls. I don't have a FasTrak, so I don't accidentally drive through with no money on my account. I stop and pay cash. I don't even know what to do at this point. I could call them again to complain, and they'll tell me again that they don't have any control over it because they outsource the license plate matching process. I will then flip out and say, "Yeah, sure, who do you outsource it to? Preschoolers? Monkeys? Chinchillas?"

Quote of the...(3)

"The ones who like the homework---they're the traitors."

A-Maze-Ing

I went to a corn maze (the corn is behind the pumpkins in the picture) last weekend. It's not the first corn maze that I've been to. When I was in school, I used to go to this corn maze in the fall. It was huge; the alleys looked like they had probably been made by a small combine. They had little clues at the intersections to help you decide which way to turn (we still got lost.) There was even a part of the maze that was haunted. So the corn maze I went to this past weekend was a little different. It was a free corn maze at a pumpkin patch. The alleys were a little bit smaller, as in you couldn't even walk two abreast. We ended up in the middle of the corn with no path at all about three times before I realized that the trail had led to dead ends, and I had just kept going. You would think, me being an experience corn mazer, I would have realized when the trail was coming to an end. P&AF, a corn maze virgin, knew the whole time; just the same he let me continue on my merry, uncharted way. So, we couldn't find the exit to the corn maze. But I'm happy to report that we didn't have to go back out the entrance. We just made our own trail and came out the side of the corn maze. Yes, excellent corn mazers we are. And no, you do not want to get lost in the wilderness with me.

No You Didn't?!?!?!

The waitress lost my credit card somewhere between the cash register and our table. She came back to tell me about it and promised that they'd find it as long as a "plate didn't eat it." She was nearly in tears. After she and the rest of the wait staff tore the place apart, she came back to say she couldn't find it after all. I had to ask if they'd comp our meal. She said that they would and that she was going to cry. She offered to call me when they found it. I said that wouldn't be necessary, considering the fact that I'd be canceling the card as soon as I walked out of the restaurant. I felt bad for her, but seriously, how do you lose a credit card in 30 feet and 20 seconds? Now I have the fun of getting a new card and closing/re-opening accounts, setting up bill-pay! Yahoo!!!