Prankster

This is B's story, but I still thought it was funny. He's coming out to see me with his buddy, and decided to ask the check-in attendant at the airport to mess with his friend. Here's the conversation (or a slight variation of it.)

Attendant: "Sir, are you wearing flip-flops?"
Friend: "Well, yeah..."
Attendant: "I'm sorry, you can't wear flip-flops on the aircraft."
Friend: "What?"
Attendant: "You can't wear flip-flops, do you have socks or something in your bag?"
Friend: "Ummmm, yeah..."
Attendant: "Are there any other suspicious items in your bag that I need to know about?"

Cockroach Hysteria

I went camping at a little state park called "Quail Creek" in Utah this weekend. My advice to you (unless you really like the picture posted in this blog) is to NEVER go camping there.
The trip started out okay. It seemed like a great place to camp--great view, pretty sunset, calm lake...
And then as it started getting towards twilight, a couple cockroaches appeared. I was already quite disgusted at this point. I really, really, really hate cockroaches. I know they can't hurt me, but I just can't even stand the sight of them. So by the time it was dark out there were cockroaches everywhere. Red ones, brown ones, black ones, big ones, small ones. They were crawling all over the ground, the picnic table, by the fire, over our feet. I think just after ten I pretty much had a meltdown. One climbed onto my hand, and I freaked out, screaming and waving my arms about wildly. I decided that was the point at which I should get ready for bed and hide in the tent.
I grabbed my backpack, and walked up to the bathroom. And to my horror (seriously horror---picture Nine Inch Nails Closer type horror) there were cockroaches on top of cockroaches on top of spiders in the rocks next to the bathroom. There were huge roaches eating other smaller roaches. I almost ran away screaming then. It was maybe a step less disconcerting than being in the bug room in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom would be. So I looked to the entrance to the restroom, and there were cockroaches all over there to. And to top it off, there was a scary, fat-abdomened black widow hanging out right in front of the entrance. I stood there whimpering for a moment, and then decided that I could survive without the restroom until daylight.
I got into the tent as soon as I could after that. I figured it would be safe. I laid in there cowering, listening to the roaches crawling around outside. I think I dozed off. And then I awoke to a cockroach crawling up my shoulder towards my neck. I flicked it off, and it went running away down the air mattress. It was horrifying. I spent the rest of the night curled into a ball in terror, waiting for the next time a cockroach would climb on me. I was convinced that there were cockroaches lining the edges of the tent next to the air mattress. Of course, when dawn finally came, it turned out to be one rogue cockroach that kept tormenting me all night. Just the same, I totally deserve several million dollars for enduring a Fear Factor worthy night. At least I think so. (And I know I should have gone to the car or a hotel or something, but I couldn't bring myself to leave the tent and venture into the piles of cockroaches outside. I was a disaster.)