Spider Frenzy

I walked into the bedroom the other night to see a big black spider camping out next to the bed. The bed currently doesn't have a frame or anything, so it just sits on the ground. The spider was on the wall right next to my pillow on the bed. I thought it might have been a spider that had been previously occupying the office. I figured I better consult with P&AF over the appropriate course of action.

M: (yells toward the living room) "Come here! I think the spider from the office is in the bedroom now. How did it get in here?"

I inspect the spider further. It's black and it seems to have a big abdomen. That makes me think it might be a black widow, but it doesn't seem to have a red hourglass. And it looks like it might be a little fuzzy; black widows usually look shinier. It was obviously not the fuzzy thin-abdomened spider from the office. P&AF finally shows up, but he stands farther away rather than coming onto the bed for a close-up look at the spider.

P&AF: "Do you want me to get a glass? We could put it in a glass, and you could take it outside."

The next thing I know, Henri has jumped up on the bed and is inspecting the spider with me. She runs up to it and bats it with her paw. The spider goes flying off of the wall. This causes me to scream and jump off the bed, while P&AF just continues observing the scene from afar. The fact that the cat is playing with the spider that I'm not wholly convinced isn't a black widow freaks me out.

M: "We have to kill it right? I mean, it's not a black widow right? What do we do? Kill it? We can't let her play with it. Do black widows kill cats?"

P&AF comes up near the bed with a shoe in one hand. Henri has knocked the spider off the wall and onto the floor next to the bed.

P&AF: "So I should kill it with this, right?"

M: "Ummmm...I don't know....get the dust buster. Suck it up with that..."

P&AF: "Then what? Just pour it out into the trash? Or leave it?"

M: "I guess you could just set it on the porch. Maybe it will crawl out from there..."

P&AF runs to get the dust buster. He runs back in and turns on the dust buster, which causes Henri to bolt from the room. He vacuums up the spider, and runs out of the room at a dead sprint with the dust buster held at arms length.

I think the dust buster is still sitting on the porch just in case.