New Phrase

You know those two little sayings, "See you later alligator," and "After awhile crocodile?"
It is so much better when you say, "See you later," to a four year-old, and he responds, "See you later crocodile."

Tales From Blockbuster

Last night we went to Blockbuster in search of a movie. As we were walking down the aisles of DVDs, I overheard a father talking to his son. The son appeared to be 10 years old or so.
Father: (in an aggravated tone) "I buy movies not morons!"
Then as we were standing in another aisle of DVDs, the Blockbuster employees had a little conversation nearby.
Blockbuster 1: "I think they must have opened it and poured it into another bag or something."
Blockbuster 2: "Really? That's crazy."
I looked over to see Blockbuster 1 holding the tear-off strip used in opening a pouch of snacks or cheese and a matching empty bag of Poppycock. Apparently someone really wanted that Poppycock. I couldn't help laughing just a little bit.
That caused Blockbuster 1 to eye me a little warily. Possibly he thought I poured the Poppycock into the little clutch I was carrying. Or possibly he just didn't share the humor I saw in the situation.

Doggie Minefields

My neighbors have adopted the rude practice of leaving small bags of dog poo around the outside of our condo. It's highly annoying. Usually they try to put the bags just underneath the bottom stair of our unit. I'm always afraid that some morning I'll walk down the stairs and just step on the bag. On top of it, sometimes it is like not all the poo makes it into the bag. So there are little poo chunks all around the stairwell at the bottom. We have adopted the practice of warning each other every time we go down the stairs, "Don't step in the poo," or "Remember, there's poo down there on the right side." I am currently considering possible retaliations for this offense. I thought I should just pick up the bag and place it in front of their door. P&AF suggested tying it to their door handle. It needs to stop!

Corvette Crisis

One morning we were out running some errands. We pulled up to a stop light, in the middle lane of three lanes headed south. We were in the front line, and there were cars in both lanes on either side of us. We both happened to glance to the right, where there was a woman driving a black corvette. She was sipping something out of a silver container. I thought it was a tumbler of coffee, but P&AF said that it was a can of Sparks. At the time I thought he was just joking. The light turned green, we drove through the intersection, and subsequently heard squealing tires. We both turned back to see the corvette fishtailing around the corner. It flew out of control, up over the curb, and into a pole.
M: "Did that car have temporary plates or something? Was she just learning to drive it?"
P&AF: "No, I told you she was drinking and driving."
M: "What do you mean? How do you know she was drinking?"
P&AF: "She was drinking Sparks."
M: "Sparks?"
P&AF: "Yeah, you know, that caffeinated malt beverage."
M: "Seriously?? I thought you were joking about that."
P&AF: "Nope. It was a can of Sparks."
One more reason not to drink and drive....