I inadvertantly created a bit of a situation between P&AF and I recently due to my shopping techniques.
It all started when I decided that I wanted new shoes. I was tired of shoes that only sort of fit. I wanted comfortable flats to wear to work that didn't slip in the heel and give me blisters. So I went to Nordstrom Online and filtered their shoe selection by width. I looked through every pair of shoes that came in a narrow size. And I chose 5 cute pairs of shoes. I ordered them all. I knew they wouldn't all work out; I planned on keeping 3 pairs at the absolute most. It seemed like a flawless plan to me. It's free to return the shoes to a Nordstrom store, so I didn't think I'd lose anything. I saw my $500.00 shoe shopping total and clicked, "Purchase." I didn't bother to tell P&AF about it, because I knew that I'd ultimately be spending less and returning some shoes. I get home before him, so I knew I'd catch all the packages first.
So, moving forward to the following weekend...we went to Bryce Canyon National Park. I handed my credit card over to purchase our park entrance pass, and my credit card was declined! Yikes! I was left with no option but to call my credit card company to figure out what happened. I briefly thought about how my little $500.00 shopping spree might come into play, but I took a deep breath and dialed. And continuing my pattern of mistakes in this situation, I neglected to tell P&AF the story before picking up the phone.
And, of course, it ended up that my credit card company thought there was fraud on my account. There were several department store transactions. The $500.00 had been run and then returned, and then several smaller transactions went through, adding up to the $500.00.
Needless to say, P&AF heard the whole conversation documenting my $500.00 shoe free-for-all. BUT, he didn't so much hear the part about how I was planning to return most of the shoes.
I got off the phone, and we began to drive through the park (we had pulled over for the call.) Nobody said anything for a bit. I then tentatively told P&AF the whole plan.
His response, "Yeah, I wasn't even gonna touch that one."
And all was okay. And, as it turns out, 4 out of 5 pairs of shoes have now been returned.
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Monday, November 01, 2010
Halloween Robbers
Last night (spooky Halloween!) P&AF and Miss Teen USA went out on a walk. I'm still laid up with the silly ankle, so I stayed home. I was sitting on the floor, folding some laundry when they returned.
P&AF said that there was a lot of commotion out in the community. There were cops walking around with their hands on their guns (the guns were still holstered), and several people stopped him to ask if he had seen the people in the black ski masks that were breaking into homes. Yikes...
There is a guy who lives near us who always freaks me out just a little bit. He's never actually done anything that warrants my wariness, but he isn't the most friendly sort. He seems like he might be rather drugged up all the time, and he just gazes around with a blank stare. This includes gazing blankly at me and Miss Teen USA on our walks, yet being disturbingly unresponsive when I say "hello."
Anyway, last night P&AF and Miss Teen USA came across HUG (High, Unresponsive Guy). They had already seen the police and been questioned about the ski mask guys, so they knew what was up. HUG actually stopped them to issue a bit of a warning.
HUG: "Hey man. Just go home. I got this. Go home and be safe."
So, obviously, HUG is actually some sort of superhuman community guardian who is not, in fact, high, but probably in alpha mode all the time or something. Just the same, I can't say that this event didn't add to the freakiness factor a touch.
P&AF said that there was a lot of commotion out in the community. There were cops walking around with their hands on their guns (the guns were still holstered), and several people stopped him to ask if he had seen the people in the black ski masks that were breaking into homes. Yikes...
There is a guy who lives near us who always freaks me out just a little bit. He's never actually done anything that warrants my wariness, but he isn't the most friendly sort. He seems like he might be rather drugged up all the time, and he just gazes around with a blank stare. This includes gazing blankly at me and Miss Teen USA on our walks, yet being disturbingly unresponsive when I say "hello."
Anyway, last night P&AF and Miss Teen USA came across HUG (High, Unresponsive Guy). They had already seen the police and been questioned about the ski mask guys, so they knew what was up. HUG actually stopped them to issue a bit of a warning.
HUG: "Hey man. Just go home. I got this. Go home and be safe."
So, obviously, HUG is actually some sort of superhuman community guardian who is not, in fact, high, but probably in alpha mode all the time or something. Just the same, I can't say that this event didn't add to the freakiness factor a touch.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
I Wasn't Done With That
I decide to put Miss Teen USA's pool away for the season today. "Away" just meant propped up against the wall behind a patio chair in this case. So I shuffled things around on the patio, and then found a good spot for the pool behind P&AF's chair where it didn't block the electrical outlet.
A little bit later in the evening, I opened up the house when the temperature started to go down. Miss Teen USA used the opportunity to head outside and pull her pool right back out. Within about 15 minutes she had it completely flat out on the ground again and was happily running around inside of it.
A little bit later in the evening, I opened up the house when the temperature started to go down. Miss Teen USA used the opportunity to head outside and pull her pool right back out. Within about 15 minutes she had it completely flat out on the ground again and was happily running around inside of it.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Le Plane!
Miss Teen USA has decided that it is necessary to point out airplanes to us. If she spots one flying by, she stops and lifts up her leg into the lovely dog paw point.
Side note: I don't know why I quit posting any blog entries for so long. Maybe nothing too exciting happened.
Side note: I don't know why I quit posting any blog entries for so long. Maybe nothing too exciting happened.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
New Discovery
I was talking to some friends at work today, and an amazing discovery was made. I had been snacking on some roasted, salted pumpkin seeds this week, and I was complaining that I didn't think they were so great. To summarize the conversation...
M: "Yeah, I'm not so much a fan of these pumpkin seeds."
Coworker #1: "Really, why not?"
M: "I don't know. They just aren't that good. It seems like about 50% of them are good, and the rest taste awful. Some of them are sort of papery or grainy or something."
Coworker #1: "Are they in the shell or have they been shelled?"
M: "There's a shell involved in this? I didn't know they came in shells."
(I grab the bag of pumpkin seeds and hand them over.)
Coworker #1: "These are in a shell. Have you been eating the whole thing?"
M: "Well, yeah, I didn't know..."
Coworker #2: "What's going on?"
Coworker #1: "She's been eating these pumpkin seeds with the shell on. You're supposed to crack them like peanuts."
Coworker #2: "Geez, what's that do to your digestive tract anyway?"
(Coworkers #3 and #4 also join the fun now to marvel over how I possibly could have thought I was supposed to eat the whole thing. Coworker #4 remarks that some people eat sunflower seeds with the shell on, so I'm not alone.)
So there you go, 30 years old and still learning new things every day. And really I was only marginally embarassed. Upon considering this further, I remembered how I've had pumpkin seeds in trail mix before and they were small green seeds, rather than the large white seeds (in the shell...) the come right out of a pumpkin.
M: "Yeah, I'm not so much a fan of these pumpkin seeds."
Coworker #1: "Really, why not?"
M: "I don't know. They just aren't that good. It seems like about 50% of them are good, and the rest taste awful. Some of them are sort of papery or grainy or something."
Coworker #1: "Are they in the shell or have they been shelled?"
M: "There's a shell involved in this? I didn't know they came in shells."
(I grab the bag of pumpkin seeds and hand them over.)
Coworker #1: "These are in a shell. Have you been eating the whole thing?"
M: "Well, yeah, I didn't know..."
Coworker #2: "What's going on?"
Coworker #1: "She's been eating these pumpkin seeds with the shell on. You're supposed to crack them like peanuts."
Coworker #2: "Geez, what's that do to your digestive tract anyway?"
(Coworkers #3 and #4 also join the fun now to marvel over how I possibly could have thought I was supposed to eat the whole thing. Coworker #4 remarks that some people eat sunflower seeds with the shell on, so I'm not alone.)
So there you go, 30 years old and still learning new things every day. And really I was only marginally embarassed. Upon considering this further, I remembered how I've had pumpkin seeds in trail mix before and they were small green seeds, rather than the large white seeds (in the shell...) the come right out of a pumpkin.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Travel Tales
There are always plenty of fun things that happen when you go through an airport. This trip was no exception.
On the way to Wisconsin I ended up in a minor verbal altercation with another passenger in the security line. I guess you may not be able to call it an "altercation" given that he didn't actually respond to me. I don't know what it is about security lines, but I have this habit of randomly saying things to people when I'd generally just keep my mouth shut. The first thing that happened was that this guy left to walk through the metal detector without pushing his stuff into the x-ray machines. Which meant that I could just push it through myself so that I could then put my stuff through, ask a TSA agent to push it through, or wait until the TSA agent noticed that our line was backing up. I chose option 1, which was probably the least smart option. But it worked just fine in this case. I got to the other side of the metal detector after sending my stuff off for x-ray, and I waited for my stuff to come through. The guy in front of me was still creating problems. He had moved all the way to the end of the belt and was putting his shoes on. I was just standing next to the belt behind him waiting for my stuff to come through. After his shoes were on, he realized that he still had a bin coming out. Rather than waiting for it to come to the end of the belt, he rammed his way back to where I was and in front of me. He just sort of pushed me out of the way with no "excuse me" or anything like it. So, I said, "Settle down, buddy." And he shrugged and walked away.
P&AF missed all of this action because we did our boarding passes on our phones. I had mine loaded ahead of time, but he had loaded his earlier and then closed it. Well, at the C & D gate entrances at McCarran there isn't any service with Verizon. So, he was turned away at the security entrance because he had no connection to load his boarding pass. He had to go back to reload the page on his phone.
On the way back we had a 3 hour layover in Chicago. We found a nice empty gate to sit at for the majority of the time. About an hour into our wait, the gate started having problems though. Several flights were routed there from other gates and then switched. There was one group of people heading to Boston who actually got on a plane, sat for an hour, and were then sent back out into the gate because of mechanical problems. At the time they were sent back out, P&AF had gone off to look for food. He left his backpack sitting next to me in a chair. A woman with her two kids came over from the Boston jetway and sat down in the two chairs next to the backpack chair. One of the kids wanted something, so they got up to go to the convenience store pretty quickly. As they were walking away, the woman tilted her head to the side and down towards me and said, "And that bag needs to be moved so someone can sit there." She didn't make eye contact or anything; she was obviously trying to act like she was talking to someone else while making sure that I got the message. I did not respond, since I felt sort of bad for their airplane mechanical shenanigans, and she did have two kids with her.
The biggest triumph of the trip was getting several pounds of cheese, some other meat, and four pounds of bacon back to Vegas with us - and still cold! We made up two little cold packages; each had frozen bacon, refrigerated cheese, refrigerated hard sausage, and a bag of frozen peas. The frozen peas were strategically placed as cold packs to keep everything cool. Each package was wrapped in newspaper and then placed in a plastic bag. The two packages were then placed in one rolling carry-on suitcase. It worked perfectly! The TSA agents did have to check the cheese to make sure that it wasn't actually explosive or tainted with explosives, but everything passed. And by the time we got to Vegas, after 10 hours of travel, the cheese was still cold, and the bacon was still mostly frozen.
Definitely a successful trip!
On the way to Wisconsin I ended up in a minor verbal altercation with another passenger in the security line. I guess you may not be able to call it an "altercation" given that he didn't actually respond to me. I don't know what it is about security lines, but I have this habit of randomly saying things to people when I'd generally just keep my mouth shut. The first thing that happened was that this guy left to walk through the metal detector without pushing his stuff into the x-ray machines. Which meant that I could just push it through myself so that I could then put my stuff through, ask a TSA agent to push it through, or wait until the TSA agent noticed that our line was backing up. I chose option 1, which was probably the least smart option. But it worked just fine in this case. I got to the other side of the metal detector after sending my stuff off for x-ray, and I waited for my stuff to come through. The guy in front of me was still creating problems. He had moved all the way to the end of the belt and was putting his shoes on. I was just standing next to the belt behind him waiting for my stuff to come through. After his shoes were on, he realized that he still had a bin coming out. Rather than waiting for it to come to the end of the belt, he rammed his way back to where I was and in front of me. He just sort of pushed me out of the way with no "excuse me" or anything like it. So, I said, "Settle down, buddy." And he shrugged and walked away.
P&AF missed all of this action because we did our boarding passes on our phones. I had mine loaded ahead of time, but he had loaded his earlier and then closed it. Well, at the C & D gate entrances at McCarran there isn't any service with Verizon. So, he was turned away at the security entrance because he had no connection to load his boarding pass. He had to go back to reload the page on his phone.
On the way back we had a 3 hour layover in Chicago. We found a nice empty gate to sit at for the majority of the time. About an hour into our wait, the gate started having problems though. Several flights were routed there from other gates and then switched. There was one group of people heading to Boston who actually got on a plane, sat for an hour, and were then sent back out into the gate because of mechanical problems. At the time they were sent back out, P&AF had gone off to look for food. He left his backpack sitting next to me in a chair. A woman with her two kids came over from the Boston jetway and sat down in the two chairs next to the backpack chair. One of the kids wanted something, so they got up to go to the convenience store pretty quickly. As they were walking away, the woman tilted her head to the side and down towards me and said, "And that bag needs to be moved so someone can sit there." She didn't make eye contact or anything; she was obviously trying to act like she was talking to someone else while making sure that I got the message. I did not respond, since I felt sort of bad for their airplane mechanical shenanigans, and she did have two kids with her.
The biggest triumph of the trip was getting several pounds of cheese, some other meat, and four pounds of bacon back to Vegas with us - and still cold! We made up two little cold packages; each had frozen bacon, refrigerated cheese, refrigerated hard sausage, and a bag of frozen peas. The frozen peas were strategically placed as cold packs to keep everything cool. Each package was wrapped in newspaper and then placed in a plastic bag. The two packages were then placed in one rolling carry-on suitcase. It worked perfectly! The TSA agents did have to check the cheese to make sure that it wasn't actually explosive or tainted with explosives, but everything passed. And by the time we got to Vegas, after 10 hours of travel, the cheese was still cold, and the bacon was still mostly frozen.
Definitely a successful trip!
Monday, July 05, 2010
There's Something Fishy Going On Here
We went to a wedding a couple weekends ago. A caesar salad was served at dinner. When the salads were delivered, P&AF was missing from the table. There was also another guy, we'll call him Forever Young (FY), missing from the table. Each salad was served with one anchovy on top. Everyone at the table (except for P&AF and FY, who were missing) noticed the anchovies right away. We made a group decision to place all our anchovies on FY's plate.
Shortly thereafter, P&AF came back. He made it in time for the dressing delivery, and began eating his salad. He said nothing about his anchovy and didn't transfer it to FY's plate like the rest of us. I assumed that he just liked anchovies.
A few bites into the salad, P&AF turns to me.
P&AF: "This salad tastes really fishy."
M: (Looking at his salad) "Oh, did you eat the anchovy on top?"
P&AF: "What? There was an anchovy on top? Huh..."
M: (laughing) "Yep, I don't see it. I guess you just ate it."
Shortly thereafter, P&AF came back. He made it in time for the dressing delivery, and began eating his salad. He said nothing about his anchovy and didn't transfer it to FY's plate like the rest of us. I assumed that he just liked anchovies.
A few bites into the salad, P&AF turns to me.
P&AF: "This salad tastes really fishy."
M: (Looking at his salad) "Oh, did you eat the anchovy on top?"
P&AF: "What? There was an anchovy on top? Huh..."
M: (laughing) "Yep, I don't see it. I guess you just ate it."
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Interrogation or Donation?
I'm a regular blood donor, but I was fairly disappointed the last time I went in to give blood. I got lost early on in the process, during the initial interview where they take your temperature, test your iron, and take your blood pressure.
Technician: "Would you be interested in doing an automated donation today?"
M: "No, thank you. I'd like to just do whole blood."
Technician: "Well, have you done an automated donation before?"
M: "Yes, for some reason I always feel worse after I do automated. And it makes me really cold during the process too."
Technician: "Well, you understand that automated is much more efficient for us, right? More people can benefit from your donation if you do automated. How many times have you tried automated?"
M: "I've tried twice. I really don't want to try it again."
Technician: "Are you sure? It really is much better for us. And most donors really like it as well. I'd say only about 2% of people don't like it. It's very strange that you don't like it."
M: "No, thank you. I'd like to do whole blood."
The technician looks away in disgust. I considered never giving blood again after that little incident. Who wants to be badgered and made to feel like their DONATION isn't good enough?
Technician: "Would you be interested in doing an automated donation today?"
M: "No, thank you. I'd like to just do whole blood."
Technician: "Well, have you done an automated donation before?"
M: "Yes, for some reason I always feel worse after I do automated. And it makes me really cold during the process too."
Technician: "Well, you understand that automated is much more efficient for us, right? More people can benefit from your donation if you do automated. How many times have you tried automated?"
M: "I've tried twice. I really don't want to try it again."
Technician: "Are you sure? It really is much better for us. And most donors really like it as well. I'd say only about 2% of people don't like it. It's very strange that you don't like it."
M: "No, thank you. I'd like to do whole blood."
The technician looks away in disgust. I considered never giving blood again after that little incident. Who wants to be badgered and made to feel like their DONATION isn't good enough?
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Comedy of Errors
Last week we were walking Miss Teen USA, when a certain series of events sent me into a fit of laughter and crying.
We were walking along a dirt path in the courtyard of our condo community.
Event#1 - I run into a tree branch with my face.
...The tree branch causes me to duck sharply to the side...
Event#2 - I put my head down straight into P&AF's shoulder, with a fair amount of force.
...and at the exact same moment...
Event#3 - Miss Teen USA decides that she sees something ahead and takes off running.
Event#4 - P&AF lets go of the dog leash as Miss Teen USA tugs strongly on the leash and I simultaneously ram my cheek into his shoulder on the arm that he is holding the leash with.
Event#5 - Miss Teen USA runs off happily, trailing the retractable leash behind her.
And the final event....I start laughing and crying at the same time. I was on very little sleep, and the dual tree branch whack with the shoulder smack really smarted. Add that to the fact that for a few days it had seemed like everything that could go wrong with Miss Teen USA would. So, this little series of events just seemed like the icing on the cake. But ultimately, I was at least half laughing.
We were walking along a dirt path in the courtyard of our condo community.
Event#1 - I run into a tree branch with my face.
...The tree branch causes me to duck sharply to the side...
Event#2 - I put my head down straight into P&AF's shoulder, with a fair amount of force.
...and at the exact same moment...
Event#3 - Miss Teen USA decides that she sees something ahead and takes off running.
Event#4 - P&AF lets go of the dog leash as Miss Teen USA tugs strongly on the leash and I simultaneously ram my cheek into his shoulder on the arm that he is holding the leash with.
Event#5 - Miss Teen USA runs off happily, trailing the retractable leash behind her.
And the final event....I start laughing and crying at the same time. I was on very little sleep, and the dual tree branch whack with the shoulder smack really smarted. Add that to the fact that for a few days it had seemed like everything that could go wrong with Miss Teen USA would. So, this little series of events just seemed like the icing on the cake. But ultimately, I was at least half laughing.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
What I Didn't Know About Dogs
It is actually possible for an animal to hog-tie itself. Seriously. It takes a little maneuvering, but it can be done.
We were out walking Miss Teen USA the other night, and she walked a little bit ahead of us. She was on one of those retractable leashes. She grabbed the leash in her mouth and began to prance ahead. (She's very proud of herself whenever she grabs the leash in her mouth, so she prances.) We then called her back to us. She stopped, turned to look, and caught her tail in the corner of her eye rather than seeing us. This caused her to spin around crazily after her tail, wrapping the leash around her own legs, tying them together, and then tipping her over. Hog-tied.
Hilarious.
We were out walking Miss Teen USA the other night, and she walked a little bit ahead of us. She was on one of those retractable leashes. She grabbed the leash in her mouth and began to prance ahead. (She's very proud of herself whenever she grabs the leash in her mouth, so she prances.) We then called her back to us. She stopped, turned to look, and caught her tail in the corner of her eye rather than seeing us. This caused her to spin around crazily after her tail, wrapping the leash around her own legs, tying them together, and then tipping her over. Hog-tied.
Hilarious.
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
It's Just Like The California DMV
I am a few days away from graduating. And today I receive a letter in the mail saying that something hasn't been submitted for my graduation, and my degree cannot be conferred until it is. I have been calling and emailing the graduate college for WEEKS trying to confirm that everything is submitted. I have not received one response. Although, someone from my department did tell me not to worry; he assured me that they wouldn't hold me back from graduating and that they were going through a big software conversion. I realize that software/database conversions can be pretty awful; I have experienced plenty of hiccups with that myself. I just can't believe that it brought everything to a standstill. And, I can't believe that 3 days prior to graduation they sent me a LETTER telling me that I haven't met the requirements. I feel like I am getting letters from the California DMV telling me that I have gotten toll violations when my car isn't even registered in California all over again. Every time I think that I have everything taken care of, it isn't. And, no matter what I do, I can't seem to proactively make sure that everything is done.
Monday, April 26, 2010
I Just Wanted Some Nachos
I went to Chipotle for some nachos the other day. Although I had never had nachos from Chipotle before, it seemed like they would have them. Unfortunately, I got up to the counter, and as it turns out, they don't have nachos. I decided that I wouldn't abandon my quest anyway.
Chipotle Girl #1: "Can I take your order?"
M: "You know, I was really in the mood for some nachos. Is there any way you can throw some chips on a plate with some of the fixings for me?"
Chipotle Girl #1: "Well, I don't have any way to melt the cheese. All I have is this steamer right here for the burritos to heat anything up."
M: "Well, that doesn't matter to me. The cheese will melt on the meat; that's hot. It'll be like the tacos or burrito bowl."
Chipotle Girl #1: "Yeah, but I can't melt the cheese."
M: "Okay, so is it a corporate policy that you can't put down a layer of chips and then fixings for a burrito bowl?"
Chipotle Girl #1: (nervously eyes Chipotle Girl #2) "No, but I can't melt the cheese."
Chipotle Girl #2: "What's wrong? What does she want?"
Chipotle Girl #1: "She wants nachos."
Chipotle Girl #2: "No. We don't have nachos."
Chipotle Girl #1: "We can't do nachos."
M: (resigned) "Okay, that's fine. How about I just order a chicken burrito bowl and a side of chips and salsa then? That should work."
Chipotle Girl #2: "No, we can't do that."
M: (convinced that I had just ordered something right off the menu) "Ummm...okay." (begins to back away from the counter.)
As I'm walking out one of them mutters "Sorry." I don't turn around, and I mutter back, "Okay..."
Weird. I swear that I wasn't trying to be ultra difficult or anything.
Chipotle Girl #1: "Can I take your order?"
M: "You know, I was really in the mood for some nachos. Is there any way you can throw some chips on a plate with some of the fixings for me?"
Chipotle Girl #1: "Well, I don't have any way to melt the cheese. All I have is this steamer right here for the burritos to heat anything up."
M: "Well, that doesn't matter to me. The cheese will melt on the meat; that's hot. It'll be like the tacos or burrito bowl."
Chipotle Girl #1: "Yeah, but I can't melt the cheese."
M: "Okay, so is it a corporate policy that you can't put down a layer of chips and then fixings for a burrito bowl?"
Chipotle Girl #1: (nervously eyes Chipotle Girl #2) "No, but I can't melt the cheese."
Chipotle Girl #2: "What's wrong? What does she want?"
Chipotle Girl #1: "She wants nachos."
Chipotle Girl #2: "No. We don't have nachos."
Chipotle Girl #1: "We can't do nachos."
M: (resigned) "Okay, that's fine. How about I just order a chicken burrito bowl and a side of chips and salsa then? That should work."
Chipotle Girl #2: "No, we can't do that."
M: (convinced that I had just ordered something right off the menu) "Ummm...okay." (begins to back away from the counter.)
As I'm walking out one of them mutters "Sorry." I don't turn around, and I mutter back, "Okay..."
Weird. I swear that I wasn't trying to be ultra difficult or anything.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Pick Up Line
The other night as I was driving home from yoga I heard a "Honk, honk..." as I was driving down Eastern Avenue (three lanes of traffic in both directions with stop lights and a median.) After doing a quick check of my car's position within the lane, I assumed the the honking had nothing to do with me. But then I heard it again. So I looked to the right. And there was a large man, in what can only be described as a rather pimped out Lincoln Navigator. He was gesturing for me to roll down my window. I briefly considered just ignoring the request, but ultimately the friendly midwestern girl within won, and I decided that possibly he just needed directions or something. So I rolled down my window.
Lincoln: "Hey, ah, what's your name?"
(It doesn't occur to me to not give my name. I'm surprised by the question, so I answer.)
M: "Maryse."
(Traffic then begins to move, and I realize it would be impossible for him to hear or understand my name anyway. I hear him yelling as I drive forward.)
Lincoln: "I can't hear you. What did you say?"
(He pulls up next to me again.)
M: "M, I said that my name is M."
Lincoln: "Well, you know M, I was just thinking, since we're sitting here in traffic, I was thinking you could give me your number, and we could chat. You know, since we're in traffic and all."
(I hold up my left hand and point to my not naked at all ring finger. Lincoln does not understand this gesture. At all.)
Lincoln: "No, no, don't try to sign your number to me. Just tell me what your number is and I'll call you."
M: "Actually, no, I don't think my husband would like that very much."
The light then turned green and I drove off to turn left, while Lincoln drove on straight down Eastern. It was quite the amusing little plot. It may work better on a target who is not taken and also in a situation where there is actually traffic. Possibly on the 405 near LA or on the 880 between San Jose and Oakland.
Lincoln: "Hey, ah, what's your name?"
(It doesn't occur to me to not give my name. I'm surprised by the question, so I answer.)
M: "Maryse."
(Traffic then begins to move, and I realize it would be impossible for him to hear or understand my name anyway. I hear him yelling as I drive forward.)
Lincoln: "I can't hear you. What did you say?"
(He pulls up next to me again.)
M: "M, I said that my name is M."
Lincoln: "Well, you know M, I was just thinking, since we're sitting here in traffic, I was thinking you could give me your number, and we could chat. You know, since we're in traffic and all."
(I hold up my left hand and point to my not naked at all ring finger. Lincoln does not understand this gesture. At all.)
Lincoln: "No, no, don't try to sign your number to me. Just tell me what your number is and I'll call you."
M: "Actually, no, I don't think my husband would like that very much."
The light then turned green and I drove off to turn left, while Lincoln drove on straight down Eastern. It was quite the amusing little plot. It may work better on a target who is not taken and also in a situation where there is actually traffic. Possibly on the 405 near LA or on the 880 between San Jose and Oakland.
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Good Thesis Advice
In the weeks leading up to my thesis defense, I have received several suggestions and well-wishes for success. Most of them have been about what you'd expect.
"You'll do great!"
"Don't worry; they're all just regular people too."
"Don't be nervous; it's really an examination of your committee chair, not you."
But, my favorite was from a co-worker. I told him that my defense was coming up and he responded, "Oh, are you going to wear a ninja mask?" And he proceeded to go through and tell me all the ways that a ninja mask might be advantageous considering the occasion. Unfortunately, I am not wearing a ninja mask. But, I have dressed in black, so possibly if things look really bleak, I'll be reminded of a ninja dressed all in black, and I'll feel a little better.
"You'll do great!"
"Don't worry; they're all just regular people too."
"Don't be nervous; it's really an examination of your committee chair, not you."
But, my favorite was from a co-worker. I told him that my defense was coming up and he responded, "Oh, are you going to wear a ninja mask?" And he proceeded to go through and tell me all the ways that a ninja mask might be advantageous considering the occasion. Unfortunately, I am not wearing a ninja mask. But, I have dressed in black, so possibly if things look really bleak, I'll be reminded of a ninja dressed all in black, and I'll feel a little better.
Monday, March 22, 2010
The Defense List
I am now prepared for my thesis defense. This is the playlist for the drive to school. I realize that I have pathetic taste in music.
Party in the U.S.A. - Miley Cyrus
If You're Going Through Hell - Rodney Atkins
Remember the Name - Fort Minor featuring Styles of Beyond
I Wanna Rock - Snoop Dogg
Comedown - Bush
Extraordinary - Mandy Moore
Wonderwall - Ryan Adams
Need You Now - Lady Antebellum
Both Sides Now - Judy Collins
Fair - Remy Zero
I'll Be Waiting - Lenny Kravitz
Live Like We're Dying - Kris Allen
Ready or Not - The Fugees
Sometimes - Britney Spears
Consider Me Gone - Reba McEntire
I Think God Can Explain - Splender
Drops of Jupiter - Train
Moondance - Van Morrison
I think it's going to be a good day. And, with any luck, my commute will not be long enough to need the entire playlist. I'll be leaving two hours early anyway!
Party in the U.S.A. - Miley Cyrus
If You're Going Through Hell - Rodney Atkins
Remember the Name - Fort Minor featuring Styles of Beyond
I Wanna Rock - Snoop Dogg
Comedown - Bush
Extraordinary - Mandy Moore
Wonderwall - Ryan Adams
Need You Now - Lady Antebellum
Both Sides Now - Judy Collins
Fair - Remy Zero
I'll Be Waiting - Lenny Kravitz
Live Like We're Dying - Kris Allen
Ready or Not - The Fugees
Sometimes - Britney Spears
Consider Me Gone - Reba McEntire
I Think God Can Explain - Splender
Drops of Jupiter - Train
Moondance - Van Morrison
I think it's going to be a good day. And, with any luck, my commute will not be long enough to need the entire playlist. I'll be leaving two hours early anyway!
Monday, March 15, 2010
Burrs In The Fur
When I wear shirts with buttons, often Henri crawls up on my lap and tries to bite the buttons off my shirt. I think she thinks that she is "cleaning" me and removing "burrs" from my fur.
The other day I was wearing a plain old sweatshirt. It didn't even have any strings, buttons, or embellishments of any sort. Henri came up to be loved up, and I noticed that she started licking my shirt and appeared to be biting at something.
I questioned her...
M: "Henri?? What the? I'm not even wearing a shirt with buttons?!"
And I looked down just in time to see her snap up some crumbs from a brownie I had been eating. Yep, I'm cool like that.
The other day I was wearing a plain old sweatshirt. It didn't even have any strings, buttons, or embellishments of any sort. Henri came up to be loved up, and I noticed that she started licking my shirt and appeared to be biting at something.
I questioned her...
M: "Henri?? What the? I'm not even wearing a shirt with buttons?!"
And I looked down just in time to see her snap up some crumbs from a brownie I had been eating. Yep, I'm cool like that.
Monday, March 08, 2010
I Hate Shoes
P&AF and I were getting ready to go to the dentist this morning; he sat down on the floor and then realized that he didn't like putting his shoes on while on the floor. I guess the couch gives him a better angle. I was sitting on the floor in front of the mirror putting on make-up. P&AF then began reading the newspaper after putting on his shoes. 5 minutes later...
P&AF: "I hate this shoe."
M: "What shoe?"
(no response)
M: "What shoe???"
P&AF: "The one on my right foot."
M: "What's wrong with it?"
P&AF: "There's a rock in it."
M: "So take it off and get the rock out."
P&AF: "No, I just got it on. That would take forever."
P&AF: "I hate this shoe."
M: "What shoe?"
(no response)
M: "What shoe???"
P&AF: "The one on my right foot."
M: "What's wrong with it?"
P&AF: "There's a rock in it."
M: "So take it off and get the rock out."
P&AF: "No, I just got it on. That would take forever."
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Inanimate Argument
I was driving to work yesterday, when I witnessed a peculiar scene. There was a man carrying several bags walking on the sidewalk by the Sinclair Station. As he passed the Sinclair dinosaur statue, he dropped his bags, turned to the dinosaur and began to yell and gesture wildly. It appeared that the dinosaur had said something extremely offensive to the man as he was walking by. The argument went on for the entire time that I sat at the stoplight. During a particularly dangerous point, the man actually stood on his toes to swipe the dinosaur's nose. I rather wish I could have heard what they were arguing about. I always thought the dinosaur seemed friendly.
Sunday, February 07, 2010
The VDay List Goes On
P&AF: "What am I getting you for Valentine's Day?"
M: "A card?"
P&AF: "And?"
M: "Flowers?"
P&AF: "And?"
M: "Candy?"
P&AF: "And?"
M: "Jewelry?"
P&AF: (high-pitched and screechy) "What????? How many gifts do you think you're getting?"
M: "Well, you're the one who kept saying 'and'. I thought I was just getting a card..."
M: "A card?"
P&AF: "And?"
M: "Flowers?"
P&AF: "And?"
M: "Candy?"
P&AF: "And?"
M: "Jewelry?"
P&AF: (high-pitched and screechy) "What????? How many gifts do you think you're getting?"
M: "Well, you're the one who kept saying 'and'. I thought I was just getting a card..."
Monday, February 01, 2010
For Sale
I walked past a note that I found a little funny today.
I was walking up to my house, and I noticed a bright red sheet of 8 1/2 x 11 paper on someone's windshield. It was on a car that seemed to have considerable paint damage, but otherwise appeared to be in decent condition. It was an older (1999 or 2000?) Honda Accord, and there were two "clubs" on the steering wheel (extra protection?)
So I checked out the note as I walked by.
It read:
"I noticed your car as I was walking by, and I was wondering if you might be interested in to sale it to me. Please call me if so. Thanks."
I just never considered leaving a random note for the owner of a car that I wanted to buy, when they didn't even appear to be selling it.
I was walking up to my house, and I noticed a bright red sheet of 8 1/2 x 11 paper on someone's windshield. It was on a car that seemed to have considerable paint damage, but otherwise appeared to be in decent condition. It was an older (1999 or 2000?) Honda Accord, and there were two "clubs" on the steering wheel (extra protection?)
So I checked out the note as I walked by.
It read:
"I noticed your car as I was walking by, and I was wondering if you might be interested in to sale it to me. Please call me if so. Thanks."
I just never considered leaving a random note for the owner of a car that I wanted to buy, when they didn't even appear to be selling it.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Neighborhood Owl
An owl has moved in to our neighborhood. I think it's pretty cool. It was raining the first day that we saw him. I think it is a Great Horned Owl. P&AF pointed him out on our neighbor's porch. I looked up and didn't really believe that I was seeing an owl.
P&AF: "Look, there's an owl."
M: "No, that must be fake."
P&AF: "No, it just moved; it's real."
M: (still not believing) "Maybe it's mechanical or something, to keep the pigeons away."
Pause.
M: "Are you sure it's not a cat?"
P&AF: "It's not a cat. It's an owl."
The owl does a weird little owl head bob and blinks at us.
M: "No, I guess you're right, it's really an owl."
(I've since discovered that my eyesight is really not so good. I'm going to the eye doctor any day now.)
The following Monday after the first owl spotting, I came downstairs to find a pigeon head waiting for me. I thought it might be a gift for our cat. I informed B, who told me that it was probably more like a threat...hmmm...
Our pigeon population is definitely dwindling anyway. I haven't seen the owl lately, but sometimes I heard him hooting.
P&AF: "Look, there's an owl."
M: "No, that must be fake."
P&AF: "No, it just moved; it's real."
M: (still not believing) "Maybe it's mechanical or something, to keep the pigeons away."
Pause.
M: "Are you sure it's not a cat?"
P&AF: "It's not a cat. It's an owl."
The owl does a weird little owl head bob and blinks at us.
M: "No, I guess you're right, it's really an owl."
(I've since discovered that my eyesight is really not so good. I'm going to the eye doctor any day now.)
The following Monday after the first owl spotting, I came downstairs to find a pigeon head waiting for me. I thought it might be a gift for our cat. I informed B, who told me that it was probably more like a threat...hmmm...
Our pigeon population is definitely dwindling anyway. I haven't seen the owl lately, but sometimes I heard him hooting.
Monday, January 04, 2010
So That's Where They Go
I woke up at about 5:30AM one day this weekend. I heard Henri on the floor eating something. So I sat up.
M: "Henri, NO!"
P&AF: "What's going on?"
M: "Henri's eating something on the floor."
P&AF: "It's fine. Go back to bed."
M: "But I don't know what she's eating."
P&AF: "Don't you ever wonder where the missing socks go?"
M: "Henri, NO!"
P&AF: "What's going on?"
M: "Henri's eating something on the floor."
P&AF: "It's fine. Go back to bed."
M: "But I don't know what she's eating."
P&AF: "Don't you ever wonder where the missing socks go?"
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