Windstorm

A little over a month ago or so, we were sitting on our living floor enjoying some nice weather with the windows open. We were watching a movie - I can't remember which one - and eating Chipotle burritos. There was a very light breeze. Out of nowhere, a huge gust of wind came up. Stuff in the house began to go flying. The pictures flew off the bookshelves. A little Halloween candle holder was hurled into the wall and smashed to bits. We both got up and raced around the house shutting the windows. We got into the spare bedroom to find that the window screen had been ripped from the window and was presumably flying around somewhere outside. The curtains were madly flapping outside the window.

After getting all the windows closed, we assessed the damage in the house. There was just the one candle holder broken; of course the curtains were a little dirty from hanging outside the house. Leaves were blown all over the house. Somehow mail from the dining room table had managed to blow all the way down the hall and into the spare bedroom and the guest bathroom, which has to be a good twenty feet with corners to turn.

We then decided we better go out to see if we could find our window screen in salvageable condition. Outside there was more destruction. Awnings had been blown off our building and the surrounding buildings. Most amazingly, two carports, the ones directly in line with our condo, had been bent completely downward. We walked through the rest of the complex, but oddly the wind gust seemed to have been centered right around the six or seven buildings in our area. The nearby pool area had patio furniture blown around. Nothing matched the destruction of our carports though. It was apparently a very localized windstorm.

Crushed Carports!















Flying Awnings!















We did find our window screen, but it wasn't salvageable. Luckily P&AF found a master window screen maker who accepted a bet to put a new window screen together in less than an hour for a case of beer.

Disturbing...

...coming back to your cube to find your cube neighbor standing in your cube investigating your desk. Not touching anything. Just standing there looking over your walls, your computer, your supplies, your cell phone, your iPod. Yes, disturbing.

Flying Saucers

I was sitting in Nutrition class the other day, and we were going over some different body composition measurement methods. Of course, BMI is included in that. The instructor had some little BMI calculator wheels. She was handing them out (throwing them to various people across the room) to the class. I was having a conversation with my friend. Due to the conversation, I wasn't facing the front of the classroom or paying attention. I had my head turned toward my friend next to me. When all of a sudden, a BMI calculator wheel came flying straight into my face. It wasn't overly painful; the whole class was in hysterics. The instructor was extremely apologetic and concerned. It's like I attract stuff like this; leave it to me to get hit in the face with a BMI wheel during class.

Recent Actions

In the past week or so I have:

1) Accidentally put lipstick on my face instead of on my lips

2) Accidentally poured orange juice on my cereal
(I know, everybody almost does this, but I actually did it. I forced myself to
just rinse the cereal with water and then pour the milk on it.)

3) Accidentally sprayed facial toner on my mirror instead of on my face

Maybe I'm stressed out or something? Or completely out of it? I don't know...

Haunting Journey

The day before Halloween we went to a group of haunted houses just outside of town. On that night, there was also a Journey tribute band playing in the haunted village. It was pretty strange walking through haunted houses while Journey songs blared in the background.

After exiting one haunted house, we ended up walking through the open area in front of the Journey tribute band stage. In mid-song, the singer stopped and yelled, "Hold hands!" as we crossed in front of the crowd.

We did not comply.

Hungry, Hungry Virus...Phew!!

A particularly voracious virus tried to eat my computer this weekend. I'm not sure if I should say "tried to" as the entire system had to be "nuked" as our wonderful and talented IT genius neighbor said.

Anyway, it has all been wiped out and reinstalled now. Thank goodness. And we managed to back up all the pictures and music to an external drive ahead of time, so we didn't lose anything of consequence. It took a lot of time and energy from our weekend, but now I'm just breathing one big sigh of relief! :)

Oh, Radio Gods

I was driving my car today, and I was eating a peanut butter sandwich. (I know, I really shouldn't eat and drive...) I don't like peanut butter sandwiches all that much to begin with. But, it just so happened that I didn't have anything else portable, and I wasn't in the mood to make egg salad. So I ended up with the peanut butter. Anyway, this peanut butter seemed particularly awful. I had to quit eating it about half way through the sandwich because it just tasted so terrible. And I began to wonder if peanut butter goes bad. I, for some reason, had the idea that peanut butter lasts pretty much indefinitely. Mine was old; I'm not exactly sure how old, but I don't think I've purchased peanut butter since living at my current condo. That makes it over a year old. As I continued to drive and ponder and listen to the radio, a little radio contest came on. The caller had to answer three questions. And guess what the final question was.

"How long does peanut butter keep after it has been opened?"

I just started laughing.

Unfortunately for me and the peanut butter, the answer was 2-3 months. Hopefully my stomach does not notice the half tablespoon of bad peanut butter that I ate.

My Namesake

We finally (in August) went to the Georgia Aquarium, where we visited my good friend Maris the beluge whale. Maris is the one in the middle in the picture of me and two whales.

Things That Make A Camping Trip Suck

We went camping at Mount Charleston this weekend. It did not go eactly as planned---or maybe we just didn't do as much planning as necessary.

Reasons...

10. No mustard for the hot dogs.

9. Stale marshmallows.

8. Nothing to retrieve the can of beans from the fire.

7. No flashlight.

6. No ketchup for the hot dogs.

5. No iPod, but an iPod docking station and batteries.

4. The wind tries to blow the tent away during the night. It is not successful, but it does blow cold wind through the tent all night. It also prevents sleep of any kind.

3. The wind successfully blows the sleeping bag cover away during the night.

2. One pillow. Two people.

1. Two left hiking shoes. No right hiking shoes. Resulting in me wearing one left hiking shoe and one flip flop with a sock for the entirety of the night. Hiking the next day did not happen.

Boiling At The Supermarket

We went grocery shopping a couple weeks ago, and everything was fine until we got to the checkout. It was pretty late, so the store wasn't very busy.
I pulled a cart up to an empty lane, a visibly full cart I should say. The cashier looked at me and said, "Are you express, because this is only express?" I was immediately a little peeved at her question, because I was obviously not express. She could have nicely informed me that her lane was the 12 items or less line. Or she could have just checked out my stuff anyway; there wasn't anybody in the store. I told her that I wasn't express anyway, and mentioned something about the sign being small. (Really...I seriously did not even see it until I was up on it.) And I proceeded to pull my cart over to the self-check lanes.
When I got over to the self-check lanes, much to my dismay, the cashier had rotated positions. She was now the person overlooking all the self-check lanes.
We had refilled our water cooler bottle in the store, and she proceeded to walk up to give us the code for water. She said that the code was (what sounded like)
60-568. I thought that was a little weird, since most of them are four number codes, but I punched it in just the same. Of course, it did not work. So she basically hip-checked me out of the way and began typing in numbers herself. After that, she proceeded to go write the code on the cap to our water bottle so that we would have it next time we were there. So, I guess in her mind it is fine to just go writing on other people's stuff without their permission?
Next we came to the mushrooms. She was not content to let us just self-check our groceries as we were fully capable of doing, and had to come over to give us the mushroom codes too. She told me, "4948." So I punched it in. And the screen came up with an error. She came barreling in front of the scanner once more to correct me. Except that this time, I had punched it in correctly. So she entered 4948 too, and the error came up again. So then she had to go back to look up the code for mushrooms, which we easily could have accomplished on our own 3 minutes before.
For the final kicker, the machine malfunctioned when we scanned our milk. I had selected the option that I didn't want to bag it, and the computer got all confused. She asked what we didn't bag, and we replied that it was the milk. As it turned out, our response just wasn't good enough. She had to come over and inspect our cart, asking if we had really had "only one gallon of milk." Right. We're paying $100 for groceries, but we're just going to try to thieve and extra gallon of milk. Seems like a great scheme.

Side Effects?

While watching the football game tonight, a commercial for Cialis came on. The commercial advised those taking the drug against alcohol consumption.

P&AF: "Why can't you drink alcohol when you're taking Cialis?"

M: "I don't know. Alcohol is a vasodilator, right? So that would lower your blood pressure. And the Cialis already lowered your blood pressure to everything but your weiner, so maybe it would make the blood pressure too low."

P&AF: "Oh. I was thinking whiskey dick. It would cancel out the effect of the drug."

Hmmmm...another possibility.

Taxiriffic

We returned from our trip to the East Coast on Sunday night. It was a really long day...cleaning up the beach house beginning at 7:00 a.m. EST...5 hours of driving from Virginia Beach to Charlotte...then flying from Charlotte through Dallas to Las Vegas...and finally arriving on the ground at 9:30 p.m. PST, 17 1/2 hours later.

To top off the long travel day, our pre-arranged ride home from the airport decided not to show up. He also decided not to answer his cell phone. We later learned that his car had broken down at some time or another. I have yet to figure out why this meant that he could not call us or answer our calls.

So, after retrieving our luggage and fruitlessly standing in passenger pick-up for awhile, we went to wait in the taxi line.

It didn't take a horrible amount of time to get a cab. We told the cab to take us home via the 15 to the 95 to Summerlin Parkway. He missed the exit to the 15 from the 215. In his words, he "forgot."

So he drove up to Decatur. Decatur has a lot of lights, but it is a major street, so usually you can hit quite a few lights right because they often stay green for a decent amount of time. After a few intersections, we began to notice that we seemed to be hitting every light on red. And after a couple more intersections and closer observation, it became apparent that the cab driver was noticeably slowing down when the lights were green. He would slow down just enough so that the light would turn yellow right as we approached it, and then he would slam on the brakes. It was almost an art; at times we noticed the speedometer dip down as low as 20 mph on a 45 mph speed limit road when the light was green. Frustrating doesn't even really begin to describe the situation after a full day of traveling.

Of course, we didn't actually complain to him. We probably should have. I didn't tip him though; I can only hope that he didn't make up the difference in his time-wasting shenanigans.

Is That A Spider In My Bed or...

The other night as we were trying to go to sleep, I felt P&AF jerk violently next to me. I looked over, and he seemed to be brushing off his arm.

M: "Is everything okay?"

(Pause, P&AF seems to be furiously brushing at his arm and looking around."

P&AF: "Yeah, I just felt something..."

At this point, I'm a little freaked out too. I'm thinking there is a cockroach or a spider in the bed or something. While trying not to get me involved in the situation, P&AF is being none too revealing about the whole thing. The whole process repeated itself about three times.

It is then that we notice Henri. She is sitting innocently on P&AF's nightstand. She isn't facing us though. She's facing out into the room. She is also, very sweetly, letting her tail hang back on the bed, so that every now and again, she can swish the tip of it right across P&AF's arm, causing him to violently jerk up and try to brush the "spider webs" off of his arm.

I guess we aren't used to those new darker window treatments we got yet!

Llamafest!

We went to Llamafest in Spanish Fork, Utah last weekend. It was quite the fun adventure. There were tons of llamas everywhere. They had a llama show, where they judged the llamas like dogs in a dog show. They also had a llama obstacle course, however, the llamas did not seem nearly as happy to run through the course as the dogs I have seen doing similar courses. They often had to be dragged.



Here we are with one llama at the end of the day. I didn't learn its name. I am also very squinty in the picture; I was feeling a little under the weather. I couldn't leave without visiting the llamas though! They were the whole reason for the trip.

The funniest thing to watch was the llamas getting really excited to meet other llamas. As soon as new llamas showed up, they would all run over to greet them. They don't seem to care about people all too much, but when it comes to other llamas, they were very social.





We picked up this lovely llama Christmas ornament. I am sure it will look beautiful on the tree!












We watched one llama show while we were there, which was for the young, male llama category. The llama who won was named "Chancho." I had picked up this information earlier on during the show, so when they announced the winner by number, I exclaimed, "It's Chancho!" There were some echos around me of "Chancho," and soon the announcer also stated the llama's name. Somehow, P&AF didn't know that they had announced the name earlier in the show. He thought that I had randomly made up a name for the llama, and that then the entire show heard me declare, "It's Chancho," and subsequently they all started calling him "Chancho" too. He was nearly hysterical until I managed to clear up the situation and explain that "Chancho" was really the llama's name. It would have been pretty funny if it had all played out the way he thought it did.

Cicada Rescue Mission

We were in the pool the other night, when a strange screeching noise erupted from the shallow end. I had my suspicions that a cicada had landed in the pool, so I went over to check it out.
Upon closer inspection, it was evident that a cicada had ended up floating in the shallow end. The haphazard (rather than steady) screeching made it seem like the creature was quickly drowing.

M: "Come over here. This cicada is drowning."

(P&AF paddles over on his tube.)

M: "Here, I'll push you towards it, and you rescue it with your foot."

(M pushes P&AF towards the cicada in distress. He manages to get it on top of his foot. He starts shaking wildly.)

P&AF: (Frantically.) "Owww! Owwww! It's biting me!"

M: (Bewildered.) "What? They bite? They don't bite? It's biting you?!?!"

P&AF: "Get it off! Get it off! It stings. I think its wings have stinging stuff on them."

M: "What? It stings? It's stinging you?"

(The stinging cicada was then successfully shaken from his foot.)

P&AF: (More calmly.) "I don't know. It's the wings. They're sharp or something."

M: "Okay, I have a leaf. Let's just put it on this leaf to get it out of the pool."

P&AF: "You do it."

M: "What? I can't do it. You have me all freaked out that it's going to bite me or something. Was it seriously stinging you?"

P&AF: "Okay, here I'll do it."

P&AF was successfully able to fling the cicada from the pool after that. It flew off as soon as its wings were dry again.

I'm not certain as to why we're (I'm) perpetually compelled to rescue drowning bugs from the pool - minus those pincher butt bugs and the cockroaches. I stay away from those.

Simple Economics

As I opened one of my retirement fund statements this morning, I had a little conversation with myself, or maybe with the statement itself. As with a lot of investments, the balance has been steadily dropping in recent months. For the purposes of this little conversation, I'm just going to use a random example number of ten thousand for the balance I was hoping for.

-"Please don't be less than ten thousand, please don't be less than ten thousand."

(Opens the statement.)

-"Ugh...nearly $500.00 below ten thousand." (That's also a random $500.00)

(Upon further study of the statement, I realized that I had already gone below $10,000.00 as of the first quarter statement. I, apparently, forgot, or possibly emotionally blocked the traumatic occasion.)

-"Well, it only went down $100.00 since last statement. That isn't so bad..." (Another random $100.00)

It's sad when I have to put a positive spin on losing $100.00.

Technologically Challenged

Happy Fourth of July!

1) I still can't figure out how to use speaker phone on my cell. I have had it for a few months now.

2) I also can't figure out how to download just one ringtone for my phone. Just one. I've done it with my past two cell phones. But now it seems like everyone wants me to have a ringtone subscription. I just want one ringtone. I don't want a million ringtones for $9.99/month. Just one. I couldn't figure out how to do that.

The Results Are In!

When you give blood these days they test your cholesterol, not good and bad, just overall. As a regular blood donor, I have been able to track my cholesterol level over the past year. I just gave blood last Friday, and I thought the results were so cool.
You see, I've been doing a lot of yoga lately. I'm in yoga teacher training school, so I'll do a good ten to twenty hours of yoga per week.
So for the past year my cholesterol levels have been: 175, 164, and 185. Not bad or anything, though I must admit that the 185 did irritate me a little.
But, this time, my cholesterol level was 149. 149! I think that is awesome. And I really think it might have to do with my yoga. I know it isn't that I've changed my diet, because I still eat the big breakfast skillet (inspired by the Bluebird Cafe) pretty much every weekend (two fried eggs, fried potatoes, sauteed onions, mushrooms, and onions, and cheese, and two slices of bacon,) and I still eat the occasional fast food burger and fries. I think there has been quite a bit of research saying that working out lowers your cholesterol, but it's pretty fun to see it at work.
So, if you have the time, definitely go get some exercise!

New Rules for Travel

Last month I took a quick trip back to Wisconsin. I tend to be a perpetually late traveller. I've missed a couple flights in my traveling career, mainly because I just didn't get out the door in time. So on this particular trip to Wisconsin, I was proud to arrive at the airport a full hour before my flight was set to leave. I realize that it is generally recommended that two hours be given at the Las Vegas airport, but I still felt pleased with my one. At the ticket counter, I asked the attendant how far ahead of the scheduled departure time luggage had to be checked for that airline. She answered 45 minutes, looked down at my boarding pass, and turned back to me urgently.
A: "Here is your boarding pass and your claim check. Go straight to the gate. Your flight is leaving early."
M: (somewhat bewildered) "What?"
A: "Yes. Go straight to the gate. Do not stop anywhere. Go now."
So I walked to the gate and did not stop anywhere. I wondered why she didn't tell me what time the flight actually was leaving at. And I did actually make a quick stop to look at the flight status screens, but there was no change in the departure time for my flight. I ended up making it to the gate just as they started boarding. And the flight left fifteen minutes early.

Tree Hugger

So I didn't manage to post for all of May. Sorry about that; I got caught up in finals and job transitioning and birthdays and traveling. Maybe June will be better. I do have a funny story to start off the month. At least I think it's funny at this point. Most of you know that I can be a bit accident prone...
Yesterday night we left the house to go to a little get together at a friend's house. P&AF was walking way ahead of me, and I was walking along the side walk. I think I may have been looking at my phone. Or possibly I was just trying to coordinate everything I was carrying...phone, directions, purse. Somehow, I managed to walk into a tree dead on. I was just walking along, when all of a sudden, there were tree branches in my face. And caught in my hair. I had to spin around to detangle myself after the inital hit. I ended up with a huge scratch running up my right shoulder, and several scratches on my face. They were all bleeding. Needless to say, I was going to the party looking quite attractive. As I admired my handiwork (or the tree's handiwork, if you prefer) in the car, I could only hope that someone had happened to catch the whole thing so that at least someone would have gotten a laugh out of it--I mean, you would think it would be hard not to laugh at a tall brunette randomly walking head first into a tree, and then struggling to haphazardly free her hair from the tree branches.
To this point, I have not figured out exactly how I accomplished the entire episode. The tree (more like a really large bush, taller than me) is planted in the gravel next to the sidewalk in the condo complex. I never left the sidewalk during my little situation. The tree was also on my left side as I was walking, but somehow, I was able to arrange the incident so that the entire right side of my body was assaulted by the tree. It's a talent.

Laundry Folding?

Obviously in this photo I was not folding laundry, as it may appear. Of course, I was making many cat beds for Henri, as she generously explained by coming over to lay down on the first one within minutes of my placing it there.

He Heard...She Heard

Conversation as heard by P&AF:

M: "I'm just leaving the grocery store right now."

P&AF: "Okay, I'm at the grocery store too. I'll put back the bread that I have and go home."

M: "Okay, I'll see you at home soon."

Conversation as heard by M:

M: "I'm sorry, I'm just leaving work right now. I'm a lot later than I thought I'd be."

P&AF: "Okay, I'm at the grocery store. I have the bread, I'm just going to go over to pick up an avocado. Then I'll go home."

M: "Okay, I'll let you get the rest of the stuff then, and I'll see you at home."

Resultant Conversation:

M (while opening the fridge): "You didn't get any milk when you were at the grocery store?"

P&AF: "What do you mean? Where is the stuff that you got at the grocery store?"

M: "I didn't go to the grocery store. You were at the grocery store when I called."

P&AF: "I thought you just left the grocery store when you called."

M: "So we don't have any bread for the BLT's"

Due to this extreme miscommunication, we had to go back out to the grocery store to get the bread for the BLT's. I'm still slightly uncertain as to how we missed the mark by so much.

One Week Later

Happy Easter, one week late!
We made Deviled Egg Boats for Easter. They were tasty and fun, even though I'm not the hugest fan of raw green peppers.

When Your Desk Speaks

I came into my office to a note the other morning. The note read, "Is it me or does it smell like vomit in here?"
One of the maintenance staff members had left it for me. The sad thing was that it DID smell really, really bad in my office. I thought it smelled like spilled milk.
It turned out that the money tree that my friend left with me when she got a new job was rotting out. Is that a bad sign?

Off Days

When I got in to work one morning this week, I was organizing all my stuff. I put my sunglasses in their case, and I put my lunch in the fridge.
I then sat down to do some work. I noticed my sunglasses sitting on my desk. I distinctly remembered putting them into the sunglasses case, right down to remembering the way the glasses case snapped shut.
So I went into my bag to find my sunglasses case. I opened it up, and there inside was my cell phone.
Needless to say, it was a long day.

My Boyfriend's Back

Did everyone see??? He's back!!! I'm so excited. Maybe I'll just have to buy a new jersey!! I'll have to start going to the bars to watch hockey now.
I may have lost Bubba (Poor Bubba Franks was cut from the Packers, if you didn't see,) but now I've got Peter back. It's a tough trade-off.

An Everyday Occasion

I'm sure that everyone saw the news about the Monte Carlo fire a month ago or so. On that day, I happened to pull into the parking lot I always park in, at UNLV at right about eleven a.m. As I was pulling in, P&AF happened to call me. I also happened to look up towards the strip and see tons of black smoke pouring from the direction of New York New York (I could see New York New York, but the Monte Carlo building was hidden from my view by the MGM residences.)

M: "Wow, there's tons of black smoke coming from the strip."

P: "Yeah, I guess the Monte Carlo's on fire."

I am totally serious when I say that his tone was about like what you would expect of someone telling you that they went to work on a Monday.

M: "What? The Monte Carlo is on fire????!!!"

P: "Yeah, the roof or something. We might get some patients in here because of it. So how is your day going?"

Apparently it wasn't much of an event to him. I on the other hand had to hang up to make phone calls to people who actually would find the information as crazy as I did. I had to get a closer look and walk until I could see around the Residences. To him it was sort of like, same-old, same-old, a huge casino is on fire, there are sirens and helicopters everywhere, whatever...

Another Casino Fire?

We were recently at the slot machines at the Orleans. It was pretty late, and as we were sitting at the machines, I noticed a group of people creating a bit of a commotion nearby. It wasn't the yelling and whooping sort of commotion that usually signals someone winning a good jackpot; it was more like a slightly concerned, staring at a trash can and talking worriedly commotion. I looked at the trash can in question and saw that there was smoke coming from it. One of the guys at the slot machines near the trash can got up and started pouring all the leftover drinks he could find in the trash can. Someone else went to find help. That person returned with a custodial person. The custodian proceeded to throw other trash on top of the burning trash. He also collected more drinks to throw on the fire. A few minutes later, a security guard walked up. He had a new bottle of gatorade, so he poured that entire bottle into the trash can also. It seemed like a slightly haphazard manner to use to put out the trash fire.

New Phrase

You know those two little sayings, "See you later alligator," and "After awhile crocodile?"
It is so much better when you say, "See you later," to a four year-old, and he responds, "See you later crocodile."

Tales From Blockbuster

Last night we went to Blockbuster in search of a movie. As we were walking down the aisles of DVDs, I overheard a father talking to his son. The son appeared to be 10 years old or so.
Father: (in an aggravated tone) "I buy movies not morons!"
Then as we were standing in another aisle of DVDs, the Blockbuster employees had a little conversation nearby.
Blockbuster 1: "I think they must have opened it and poured it into another bag or something."
Blockbuster 2: "Really? That's crazy."
I looked over to see Blockbuster 1 holding the tear-off strip used in opening a pouch of snacks or cheese and a matching empty bag of Poppycock. Apparently someone really wanted that Poppycock. I couldn't help laughing just a little bit.
That caused Blockbuster 1 to eye me a little warily. Possibly he thought I poured the Poppycock into the little clutch I was carrying. Or possibly he just didn't share the humor I saw in the situation.

Doggie Minefields

My neighbors have adopted the rude practice of leaving small bags of dog poo around the outside of our condo. It's highly annoying. Usually they try to put the bags just underneath the bottom stair of our unit. I'm always afraid that some morning I'll walk down the stairs and just step on the bag. On top of it, sometimes it is like not all the poo makes it into the bag. So there are little poo chunks all around the stairwell at the bottom. We have adopted the practice of warning each other every time we go down the stairs, "Don't step in the poo," or "Remember, there's poo down there on the right side." I am currently considering possible retaliations for this offense. I thought I should just pick up the bag and place it in front of their door. P&AF suggested tying it to their door handle. It needs to stop!

Corvette Crisis

One morning we were out running some errands. We pulled up to a stop light, in the middle lane of three lanes headed south. We were in the front line, and there were cars in both lanes on either side of us. We both happened to glance to the right, where there was a woman driving a black corvette. She was sipping something out of a silver container. I thought it was a tumbler of coffee, but P&AF said that it was a can of Sparks. At the time I thought he was just joking. The light turned green, we drove through the intersection, and subsequently heard squealing tires. We both turned back to see the corvette fishtailing around the corner. It flew out of control, up over the curb, and into a pole.
M: "Did that car have temporary plates or something? Was she just learning to drive it?"
P&AF: "No, I told you she was drinking and driving."
M: "What do you mean? How do you know she was drinking?"
P&AF: "She was drinking Sparks."
M: "Sparks?"
P&AF: "Yeah, you know, that caffeinated malt beverage."
M: "Seriously?? I thought you were joking about that."
P&AF: "Nope. It was a can of Sparks."
One more reason not to drink and drive....